my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize