that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
