he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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