Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
