Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
