Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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