if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
