No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize