he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
