playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
