capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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