Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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