Jerry, you need to find god
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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