Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
