I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
