Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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