i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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