So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
