there was a trapeze. enough said
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
