Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
nutella sex= disaster
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
