You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
