your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
