i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
