Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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