lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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