Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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