i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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