I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We had to coat check the pizza.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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