Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
