It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Holy sore nipples Batman
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
