i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
