2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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