Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
