I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
