god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
