Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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