he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
