He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize