so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
