my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
