I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
