i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
