I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Vodka?
Forever.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
