You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
