the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
