i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it's like iHOP with fire
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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