When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
