oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
