I love black thongs
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
