Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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