watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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