shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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