And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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