Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
