Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
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dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.