Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"

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  (702): i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower" http://tfl.nu/j2hm
  Replies (8) Good night (523) Bad night (3152) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.

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  (434): So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus. http://tfl.nu/hw67
  Replies (28) Good night (5610) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?

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  (612): Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife? http://tfl.nu/rjpj
  Replies (34) Good night (1929) Bad night (8179) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.

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  (770): I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected. http://tfl.nu/i708
  Replies (17) Good night (4872) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...

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  (484): he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car... http://tfl.nu/7kdq
  Replies (5) Good night (2373) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas

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  (757): i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas http://tfl.nu/kf1k
  Replies (13) Good night (2915) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america

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  (217): So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america http://tfl.nu/rqmz
  Replies (9) Good night (1501) Bad night (2128) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.

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  (214): I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/p7x9
  Replies (6) Good night (2236) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....

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  (814): Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly.... http://tfl.nu/m1mg
  Replies (6) Good night (1076) Bad night (1643) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.

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  (479): I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober. http://tfl.nu/132v
  Replies (4) Good night (1413) Bad night (552)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...

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  (312): I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today. (773): I'm not sure which feat is more impressive... http://tfl.nu/ga4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1390) Bad night (401)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...

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  (+61): For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up... http://tfl.nu/ld08
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"

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  (651): I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift" http://tfl.nu/0adm
  Replies (8) Good night (2908) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you

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  (484): Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you http://tfl.nu/s4l7
  Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (246)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms

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  (425): I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms http://tfl.nu/pltl
  Replies (7) Good night (587) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt

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