Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
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no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.