Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking