you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
