I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
