I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
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This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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