well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
