It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
