last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
